Waking Up To The Present
by DopeyPixie
Summary: 'The future starts today, not tomorrow.' Pope John Paul II
1. Last Moments Before Hell Breaks Loose

**Chapter 1: Last Moments Before All Hell Breaks Loose**

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''Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.'' David Ogden Stiers

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Tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. Waiting patiently, though slowly growing impatient. Nobody else on the intersection and yet, he had to wait. Wait for the bright red light to turn a bright green, telling him he was allowed to continue his journey. A journey which would usually take him less than fifteen minutes, right now he'd been on the road for almost twenty. 'Maybe the light is broken, maybe...' he didn't get a chance to finish his thought when the light finally turned green.

''Finally,'' he said to himself while trying to ignore the loud music coming from a high school down the street. He tried not to think about anything other than getting to her house, having dinner with her and her brother. 'Just focus on that, don't listen to the loud music, and don t listen to the sounds coming from that screeching car that's heading your way... Wait? What?'

Derek hadn't even noticed the car until he heard the screeching tires and was blinded by the headlights, just half a second before the navy-blue pick-up truck crashed into the passengerside of his car.

The sight of those bright headlights heading his way was the last thing he remembered before all the darkness. It was the last thing he remembered before the slow beeping woke him up.

Ignoring the pounding in his head, he slowly opened his eyes. Things were a bit blurry, he couldn't quite focus, but he could see a white wall which matched the sheets perfectly. A bunch of other things telling him he was in a hospital room. Everything was the same perfect, bright white, making her dark hair stand out even more.

He could feel the warmth of her hand on top of his as she was sleeping with her head resting on the bed. He slowly took his hand from hers, careful not to wake her up, and started to softly stroke her hair. It was a matter of seconds before she woke up with a startle. And even after that it seemed to take her a few seconds to realize where she was. When she did she reached over and paged a nurse, suddenly wide awake.

''Derek, honey, is you okay?'' He could hear in her voice that she had been crying. Her red eyes didn't do much to cover that up either.  
He cleared his throat, ''fine,'' he answered after a few seconds.

He noticed the nurse coming into his room and checking his vitals, but he never took his eyes off of her. He simply couldn't. He felt as if it had been too long since he had last seen her, too long since he had last heard her voice. What had happened? How long had he been here, lying here unconscious?

He remembered leaving work, vaguely. He sat up a little straighter, letting the nurse put another pillow behind his back. He leaned back and took a moment to compose his thoughts. Trying to make more sense of what was going on.  
A hospital bed, she had been asleep and had obviously been crying. Something had to be wrong, something had to have happened.

When he looked at her he knew she could see the confusion written all over his face. She sat down next to him on the bed. ''Derek, do you remember what happened?'' He heard her ask in that oh so familiar worried and caring voice.

''I remember leaving work, sort of...'' he answered slowly. ''Do you remember what day that was?'' She asked.  
''June 17th,'' he answered.

He immediately noticed the relief on her face. ''Why? What's wrong?'' He asked.  
''The doctors were afraid that you might have amnesia,'' she answered and let out a sigh as she wiped away a few strands of hair from her face.

''You look... different,'' he said slowly, taking a moment to take a good look at her. She seemed thinner, and had her hair always been this dark?

He immediately saw the look on her face change as she grabbed one of his hands in both of hers. ''Can you tell me what year it is?'' He heard her ask. He got too distracted by the feeling of cold metal, coming from the two rings pressing against his hand. He looked down and took a look at her left-hand ringfinger. And there it was: the ring he was going to use to propose to her with. What was that already doing there? How did she get her hands on that? And why was there a wedding ring next to it?

He slowly took his hand from hers, ''2005,'' he answered, looking straight into her eyes, waiting for a reaction. He could see tears well up in her eyes again, but holding them back. She swallowed hard and sat down in the chair next to his bed.

''Baby girl, what's wrong?'' Derek asked, starting to get worried.

Penelope took a deep breath, taking a second to calm herself down. 'This can't be happening,'' she thought, 'dear God, please tell me this isn't happening!' Was all she could think. ''Honey,'' she mumbled, followed by a short pause, trying to ignore the fact that her voice was breaking, ''it's 2011.''

It was like lightning had struck him, like a bomb had gone off in his head. ''2011? But how...? What happened?!'' He asked. He opened his mouth, trying to say something else. Hell, he had a million things he wanted to say, to ask! But nothing else came out. It was like the only thing in the room with them was silence. ''2011?'' He muttered again.

Penelope nodded slowly, ''tell me everything you can remember about that last day, anything you remember,'' she said.

He took a second to think about this. Short flashes about reports he had written, talking to her and walking to his car... And then he remembered something that he knew would clarify things: ''I was going to have dinner at your house. I was going to meet your brother Luuc for the first time,'' he said, a little proud of himself for remembering that.

He saw a tear fall from her eye, ''that happened such a long time ago,'' she said as she rubbed her forehead.

He picked up her left hand and looked at the diamond ring, ''so... I see I finally gave you that ring,'' he said with a slight smile.  
''Yes, you did,'' she answered, a smile forming on her face as well. ''We got married six months later,'' she continued.

He noticed her hesitation to continue. ''What's wrong?'' He asked her, getting worried.  
''We have a daughter,'' she said quietly.

His jaw dropped, he certainly hadn't seen that coming.  
Her name is GraceLynn, but everybody calls her Gracie for short... You call her princess,'' she continued. We also have fraternal twin boys, even though they look very much alike. Their names are Joshua and Riley,'' she told him, swallowing past the lump in her throat.

What was she going to tell their children? 'Sorry, but your father doesn't remember you'? That would go great!

Derek was just speechless, waking up one day and finding out that you're married and have three kids. That certainly wasn't an everyday thing... thankfully!

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''A true friend can see the words in your heart and tell the story of your life when your memory is gone.'' Tamara Artemis

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Please review! Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated!

BTW: This might turn into a two-shot, be on the lookout for it!


	2. You Are The Forgotten Lights Of My Life

I apologize for taking so long to update. I uploaded this story right before I went to Berlin and I think I left my muse there!  
So, as some of you may have noticed: I changed the status of three of my Criminal Minds stories from ''Complete'' to ''In-Progress'', just because I felt like I wasn't done with them yet. This is one of those stories, and though this story and 'So Long, And Thanks For All The Memories' will each have only a second chapter, 'This Is When Worlds Collide and Days Are Dark' will most likely have several other chapters that will be uploaded as soon as I can

I also wanted to note that since Derek's last memories are from 2005, they were from before the show started, so the chapter might be confusing.  
Other than that, enjoy!

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**Chapter 2: You Are The Forgotten Lights Of My Life, Nice To Meet You!**

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''Things don't have to change the world to be important.'' Steve Jobs

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''So... are you ready to go in?'' Penelope asked Derek. They were in the car, parked on the side of the road in front of their house. Her hands were resting on the steering wheel, waiting for him to be ready to go in and meet their kids.  
Derek cleared his throat and took a few seconds before he responded, he finally looked back up at her and gave a slight nod, ''okay,'' was all he said.

They both got out of the car and started walking towards the house, Penelope noticed Derek was walking quite slowly, whether he did that on purpose or not; she didn't know.  
She unlocked and opened the door in front of him and they both walked into the foyer, immediately greeted by Emily Prentiss who had been watching their children that day.

''Hi,'' Emily said after a few seconds of the three of them standing there. She didn't really know what to say... She wasn't exactly used to dealing with somebody who couldn't remember the last six years of their life.

''Hi,'' he said back, feeling the awkwardness around them. He looked at the dark-haired woman in front of them. He didn't know who she was - was she a friend of Penelope's?

The uncomfortable silence was broken by a loud squeal, ''Daddy!'' A sweet voice screamed. Derek was barely able to turn around before the little girl - his daughter? - ran over to him and hugged his waist.  
''Hi...'' Derek began and looked up at Penelope for a brief moment before squatting down and hugging the girl back, ''Hi princess,'' he said as he gave her a kiss on the top of her head.

As the little girl pulled back she smiled at her father, ''do you want to see the doll aunt Emily gave me?'' She asked in an excited voice.

''Honey,'' Derek and Gracie both looked up at Penelope as she began to talk, ''daddy and mommy will be up in a few minutes. Can you go play upstairs while the grown-ups talk?'' She asked her daughter.  
Gracie gave a short nod before running up the stairs to - what Derek assumed was - her room.

Derek thought hard for a moment - 'aunt Emily'? So the woman's name was Emily, and she was apparently important since their daughter referred to her as 'aunt'.

He turned back to Penelope who glanced over at Emily, ''where are the boys?'' She asked the older woman.  
''They are asleep in their room,'' Emily said as the three of them walked to the living room and sat down on the couches.  
Derek could hear them talk about something - maybe even talk to him - but his gaze had landed on a picture frame in the window sill and he simply couldn't look away. The sight of Penelope in a wedding dress, himself in a suit next to her... it made him speechless.

''Derek?!'' He looked back at Penelope when he heard her voice say his name.  
''Yeah?'' He asked.  
''Are you okay? You seemed a little... out of it for a moment,'' she responded with a worried look on her face.

''I'm fine, thinking about all the things that could've happened that I don't remember. Wondering how I got so lucky to get from the last thing I remember to what my life is like now,'' he said as he rubbed the back of his neck.

Emily and Penelope shared a look, ''do you want to know the story of _us_?'' Penelope asked him as she looked into his eyes.  
Derek gave a nod before he leaned back a little bit, trying to prepare himself for whatever he might hear next.

''Can you tell me the last things you remember? I mean, I know that you remember that you were on your way to my house and got into a car accident, but do you remember more?'' Penelope asked as Emily looked at Derek as he tried to remember more.

Derek had a frown on his face as he remembered those last days before it all faded into blackness. ''Well, you and I,'' he glanced over at Penelope, ''had been dating for about eight months. I had bought your engagement ring just a few days ago. We had all gotten a couple of weeks off from Strauss and Reid and Gideon planned to do a couple of seminars at universities out of town. Elle was frustrated because Brian had broken up with her.''

Emily glanced over at Penelope to see if she could remember when that was, Penelope just let out a sigh.  
''Has a lot changed since then?'' Derek asked as the two women exchanged a glance.

''I don't even know where to begin,'' Penelope muttered as she looked down at her hands. She felt heartbroken that Derek couldn't remember the life they had built together. He couldn't remember their wedding, the births of their children... Penelope buried her face in her hands in frustration.

A light bulb went off in Emily's head and she looked at Derek for a moment, wondering... ''Derek? Do you know who I am?'' She asked him.  
Penelope looked up confused, she hadn't even thought about the fact that they didn't work with Emily back in 2005. She glanced over at Derek.

''Not really,'' Derek said. He sighed, ''actually not at all...''  
Penelope looked back and forth between the two of them with sadness in her eyes, ''Derek, this is Emily Prentiss. After Elle left, she replaced her,'' she explained. It was only a small part of a much bigger story but she didn't have time to explain everything right now.

''Nice to meet you,'' Derek smiled at Emily as he held out his hand to her.  
Emily hesitated for a moment, it felt strange... meeting him again, ''nice to meet you too, I guess,'' she said.  
''Do we get along?'' He asked her, he couldn't help but wonder. The twinkle in her dark eyes made her look very friendly, and considering the whole 'aunt' thing... They must get along.

''We're pretty close,'' she told him with a smile.  
Derek smiled back at her and gave her a slight nod.  
Emily could feel an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of her stomach as she thought about the possibility of never having such a close friendship with him again.

''Gideon has left as well. He was replaced by David Rossi-'' Penelope began.  
''_The_ David Rossi?'' Derek asked her surprised. He had read some of the older man's books and was very impressed by his work.

Penelope and Emily both chuckled at the surprised sound in his voice. ''Reid has... grown up, I guess,'' Penelope chuckled before she continued. ''Hotch has a son, Jack-''  
''Is he still married to Haley?'' Derek asked, interrupting her again.  
Penelope and Emily both kept quiet for a moment, not wanting to respond, and he could sense something was wrong. ''They got divorced,'' Emily said.

''Oh,'' Derek managed to get out, slightly surprised. He had always envied what a great marriage they had and he couldn't believe that was over now. Looking at the women though, he could tell there was more.  
''She got murdered a few years later,'' Penelope added.

Derek looked back and forth between the two, _unsure of how to respond_. Although 'flabbergasted' might've been a better word. He bit down on his lip and looked away for a second. He cleared his throat, ''what else?'' He asked, unwilling to look at either one of the women.

''JJ has a son, Henry,'' Penelope said.  
''Jennifer Jareau?'' Derek asks. He had always had a feeling she'd become a mother someday, she seemed like the kind of person who would want to have the white picket fence fantasy.

''After the car accident you had six years ago you got better quite fast and started working again. As I told you we got married 5 and a half years ago. I got pregnant with Gracie a few months later, so she is four years old and the twins are almost eighteen months old. Two weeks ago you got kidnapped by one of our UnSubs - he had already killed a few boxers,'' Penelope paused because she wasn't sure if she should tell him this. The look in his eyes told her he wanted to know, but it was too hard for her to think of what happened to him. She glanced over at Emily.

Emily took a deep breath before telling the rest of the story: ''he took you down to an old warehouse he owned and locked you up there. He starved you for a couple days and - took keep the story short - he abused you up to the point where the doctors figured that you would have permanent brain-damage. They already told his you would most likely suffer from memory loss, but there is a good chance that it'll all come back at some point-'' she could feel she was kind of rambling and the look in his eyes told her it would be best to stop.

Derek swallowed hard, trying to take everything in. He stood up from the couch, not sure where he was going but he knew he had to get away. He looked at both Emily and Penelope once more before turning around and walking up the stairs. They decided it would be better not to follow him; he needed some time by himself.

As Derek reached the top of the stairs he realized that he had no idea which door let to which room. All he saw were four doors. He opened the first one a little bit and saw the bathroom, the second one was - what he could only guess was - his and Penelope's bedroom. The third door was left ajar and lead to quite a big room with two cribs in them.

He swallowed hard before walking in and closing the door behind him. He looked in both the cribs at his two young sons who where both sound asleep. Penelope had been right; he could tell they were fraternal, but they looked very similar. The only real big difference was that one of them had black hair and the other one's hair looked more dark brown. He softly stroked both their heads, overwhelmed by how much he already loved them without even knowing them - without even knowing who was Joshua and who was Riley...

He walked out of their room after a while; he didn't know how long he had been in there. Had it been five minutes? Or maybe an hour? It didn't matter to him... He opened the last door and found what he thought he would: his four-year-old little princess.

''Hi princess,'' he said as he sat down next to her on the floor. She looked up from the doll - a Barbie doll - in her arms, to him.  
''Hi daddy,'' she said with a sad look on her face.  
''What's wrong honey?'' He asked her as he ran his fingers through her soft hair, wiping the strands away from her face.

''Mommy says your sick and she looks really sad,'' she said honestly.  
Derek could feel his heart break at the sounds of sadness in her voice. ''You don't have to worry about mommy and me, we'll be okay,'' he said in an attempt to comfort her. Gracie looked down at her feet and Derek - though he tried really hard - couldn't tell how she felt. ''Honey come here,'' he said to her and spread his arms. She stood up and wrapped her small arms around his neck.

Derek wrapped his arms around her tiny body and held her as close as he could without hurting her. ''Everything will be okay,'' he whispered in her ear, though he didn't know if it was more to comfort her or himself.

''I will keep you safe and make sure everything will be fine,'' he said again. ''It might take a while but we'll get there...''

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''Always remember that the future comes one day at a time.'' Dean Acheson


End file.
